Before the Screens: Why I Chose Books, Conversation, and Connection for Noely

Parenthood comes with an endless stream of decisions. Some are enormous, while others seem small at first but gradually become part of our children's everyday lives. One decision I began thinking about very early was screen time.

We live in a world surrounded by screens. Phones are in our hands, televisions are in our homes, tablets are marketed to children, and countless videos and apps promise to entertain or even "educate" babies. As a parent, I completely understand why screens can be tempting. Sometimes you need to cook dinner, finish something for work, take a shower, clean the house, or simply have a few quiet minutes.

But I began asking myself a different question: Just because a screen can capture my baby's attention, does that mean it is helping her learn? For our family, I decided that I did not want a screen to become Noely's primary source of entertainment, distraction, comfort, or education during infancy. Instead, I wanted her earliest experiences to come from voices, faces, books, colors, music, prayer, conversation, movement, touch, and the physical world around her.

And as I learned more about early childhood development, I discovered that there are good reasons for parents to be thoughtful about screens during these first years.

A Baby's Brain Needs the Real World

The first years of life are an extraordinary period of development. Babies are constantly receiving information.

When a baby looks at her mother's face, listens to her father's voice, grabs a toy, turns toward a sound, watches someone smile, touches a textured object, or hears the same word repeated again and again, her developing brain is processing those experiences. This is one reason I believe we have to be careful about thinking of screen time as automatically "educational."

The American Academy of Pediatrics has historically recommended discouraging screen media for children younger than 18 months, other than video chatting. For children between 18 and 24 months whose parents choose to introduce digital media, the AAP recommends high-quality content that parents and children experience together, rather than leaving a toddler alone with a device.

The World Health Organization's guidelines are similarly cautious. For infants younger than one year, sedentary screen time is not recommended. WHO also does not recommend sedentary screen time for one-year-olds. At age two, the recommendation is no more than one hour a day, with less being better. Significantly, WHO specifically encourages reading and storytelling with a caregiver during sedentary time.

That last recommendation particularly resonates with me because books became one of the ways I chose to introduce Noely to language and learning.

The Concern Is Not Simply "Screens Are Bad"

I don't believe parents need another reason to feel guilty. There are times when technology can be useful. Video chatting with grandparents or relatives, for example, is very different from placing a baby in front of hours of rapidly changing videos. As children get older, carefully selected educational programs can also have a place in family life. The bigger issue for me is what screen time may replace.

An hour spent passively watching a device can potentially become an hour that wasn't spent listening to Mommy talk, watching Daddy cook, turning the pages of a book, crawling across the floor, examining a toy, hearing a nursery rhyme, exploring outside, or simply studying another person's face.

Those ordinary experiences don't always look like "education." But to a baby's developing brain, they are incredibly important.

The AAP emphasizes that young children benefit from hands-on, unstructured and social play for building language, cognitive, and social-emotional skills. It also cautions against routinely using media as the primary method of calming a child because children need opportunities to develop emotional regulation rather than always relying on a device for soothing. That distinction matters to me. Distraction is not necessarily development. A baby staring quietly at a screen may appear completely engaged. But being captivated by movement, sound and bright images isn't the same thing as interacting with another human being or exploring the physical world.

What Research Has Found About Screen Time and Development

Some of the research on early screen exposure deserves parents' attention, although it is important to describe it accurately. Many studies find associations between greater screen exposure and developmental outcomes; that does not mean every study proves that screens directly cause a particular delay.

One large 2023 study published in JAMA Pediatrics followed 7,097 mother-child pairs. Researchers found a dose-response association between greater screen time at age one and developmental delays, particularly in communication and problem-solving, at ages two and four. At age two, compared with children having less than one hour of screen time per day, the odds of communication delay were higher as screen exposure increased; among children with four or more hours per day, the adjusted odds ratio was 4.78.

Another large cohort study involving 57,980 children found that increased television/DVD screen time at ages one and two was associated with lower developmental scores at ages two and three, respectively. Language is especially interesting.

A systematic review and meta-analysis incorporating 42 studies and 18,905 participants found that greater quantities of screen use were associated with lower language skills. At the same time, higher-quality screen experiences—including educational programming and caregivers watching and interacting alongside children—were associated with stronger language skills. Later introduction of screen media was also associated with stronger language skills.

That tells me the conversation should not simply be, "Never let your child see a screen." It should be about age, amount, quality, context, interaction and what the screen is replacing.

Why I Didn't Want a Screen to Become Noely's Teacher

I especially wanted to avoid falling into the idea that because something is labeled "educational," it must be the best way for a baby to learn. Babies learn differently from older children and adults.

According to the AAP's Healthy Children guidance, infants and young toddlers have difficulty translating what they see on a two-dimensional screen into an understanding of the real world. What they need most during this period is interaction with people and opportunities to touch, move, manipulate objects, listen and observe. I wanted Noely to hear language spoken to her, not simply around her. I wanted her to see my mouth move when I said a word. I wanted her to see my facial expressions. I wanted her to hear excitement in my voice when we reached an interesting part of a story. I wanted her to reach for the pages. I wanted her to study the pictures. And eventually, I wanted her to recognize that the funny sounds Mommy kept making actually meant something.

Our First Book Was the Bible

Long before Noely could understand the words I was reading, I began reading the Bible to her.

At first, of course, she couldn't follow a story. She couldn't understand the meaning of a verse or tell me what had happened. But that wasn't really the point. I was introducing her to my voice, language, rhythm and our faith. There was something incredibly peaceful about sitting with my tiny baby and reading Scripture aloud. She might sleep through part of it. She might move around. She might stare at me without the slightest idea what I was saying. But I kept reading. For me, reading the Bible to Noely wasn't only about early literacy. It was also about establishing something I hoped would remain part of our family life as she grew. I wanted God's Word to be something familiar to her. I wanted prayer to feel familiar. I wanted the sound of Mommy reading to feel familiar. And then something beautiful started happening. She began staying awake longer.

When Noely Started Watching the World

As Noely grew and her periods of alertness became longer, I noticed how much more attentive she was becoming. Suddenly, there was more observing. More staring. More following. More curiosity. She wasn't simply this tiny newborn sleeping through most of her day anymore. She was beginning to study the world around her. I could see her looking at my face. She would watch objects. She became more interested in sounds. And that was when I began expanding what I read to her. I introduced children's books with bright colors, simple illustrations, repetition and rhyming words. Rhyming became particularly fun because I could exaggerate the sounds. I could change the tone of my voice, slow certain words down and repeat phrases. Reading wasn't something I expected her to perform. There was no test afterward. There was no expectation that she would somehow prove she had learned something. We simply experienced language together.

What Reading Gives a Baby

When we read to babies, we're doing much more than telling them a story. They are hearing sounds. They are being exposed to vocabulary. They are watching facial expressions. They are beginning to experience the rhythm and patterns of spoken language. They are looking at pictures and eventually learning that pictures represent objects. They are experiencing turn-taking when we talk, pause, point, react and respond to their sounds. And perhaps most importantly, reading is happening inside a relationship. That is very different from simply pressing play. I could point to a picture and say, "Look, Noely—a flower!" I could repeat "flower." I could smile. I could point to a real flower later. Eventually, those experiences begin connecting. The goal isn't to make an infant academically advanced. It's to give her brain abundant opportunities to hear language and associate words with people, objects, emotions and experiences.

Can Reading Help Babies Talk Earlier?

I think this is where parents should be hopeful without turning development into a competition.

Reading, talking, singing and responding to babies are wonderful ways of supporting language development. But I would never promise that reading to a newborn guarantees that the child will speak earlier than another child. Every baby develops at an individual pace. What we can do is create a language-rich environment. I can read. I can talk. I can sing. I can describe what I'm doing. I can respond when Noely babbles. I can name the objects she reaches toward. I can repeat words. I can let her see books as something joyful. Those experiences give her developing brain opportunities to process language again and again. So rather than thinking, "If I read enough, my baby will talk early," I think of it as: "I'm giving my baby as many healthy opportunities to develop communication as I reasonably can." There is a big difference between those two ideas. One places pressure on the child. The other creates opportunity.

Parents Don't Need to Entertain Babies Every Second

One reason screens become so attractive is because modern parenting can create the impression that babies must constantly be entertained. I don't believe that's necessary. Sometimes babies can simply observe. Let them watch you fold laundry. Talk to them while you prepare dinner. Let them lie safely on a play mat and look around. Sing while you're cleaning. Give them an age-appropriate toy to examine. Take them outside and let them hear birds. Let them look at trees moving in the wind. Sit on the floor and read a book. Allow some quiet. Babies don't need a television show playing every moment to prevent boredom. The ordinary world is already fascinating when you've only been in it for a few months.

I Also Had to Think About My Own Screen Habits

This decision challenged me, too. It would be easy to say, "No screens for the baby," while I'm sitting next to her staring at my phone. Children learn from what surrounds them. That means limiting screen dependence isn't simply something I can expect from Noely. It requires me to become conscious of my own habits. There are moments when the phone can wait. There are emails that don't need to be answered immediately. There are notifications that aren't more important than the little person looking at me. I'm not perfect about this, nor do I believe parents have to be. The goal in our home isn't perfection. It's intentionality.

To the Exhausted Parent Who Sometimes Uses a Screen

I also want to say something important because conversations about screen time can quickly become judgmental. Parenting is exhausting. There may be a day when your toddler watches something while you make dinner. There may be a long flight. There may be an appointment where you desperately need your child to remain calm. There may simply be a difficult afternoon. That doesn't make someone a bad parent. Even the AAP recognizes that there are circumstances in which media can be useful for soothing, such as travel or medical procedures. Its concern is about making media the only or routine method of calming a child. My encouragement isn't about guilt. It's about not allowing convenience to quietly become a developmental habit. Before automatically reaching for a screen, sometimes we can reach for something else.

A book. A song. A toy. A walk. A conversation. A cuddle. A window. A prayer.

What I Hope Noely Remembers

Noely will eventually grow up in the same digital world as everyone else. There will be television.

There will be tablets. There will be computers. There will probably be technologies that haven't even been invented yet. I'm not trying to raise a child who doesn't understand technology. I'm trying to give her a childhood in which technology doesn't arrive before everything else. Before the screen, I want there to be Mommy's voice. Before the video, I want there to be books. Before the app, I want there to be toys she can actually hold. Before digital pictures of autumn leaves, I want her to touch a leaf. Before an animated flower, I want her to see one growing outside. Before an electronic voice teaches her a word, I want her to hear that word spoken lovingly by the people around her. And before technology becomes one of her teachers, I want her first teachers to be Mommy, Daddy, the world around her, and God.

Reading the Bible to Noely when she was tiny may have seemed like such a small thing. She couldn't understand the stories yet. She couldn't repeat the words. But I was planting something. Then came the brightly colored books. Then came the rhymes. Then came the pictures. Then came her increasingly curious eyes following the pages. And eventually will come words of her own. That is why I continue reading. Not because I'm trying to rush her childhood or produce a milestone before she's ready, but because her brain is already busy doing the remarkable work of developing. I want to give that developing mind something meaningful to absorb. And sometimes the most powerful early-learning tool doesn't require Wi-Fi, batteries, an app or a charging cable. Sometimes it is simply a book opened across a parent's lap, a baby's curious eyes looking at the page, and the familiar sound of someone she loves saying: "Let's read together."

Author's note: This post reflects my personal parenting choices and experience and is not medical advice. Screen-time recommendations evolve, and parents should discuss questions about their child's development or media use with their pediatrician.